Oh, you and your deep questions, hon! LOL Hmmm... you know me, I think we'd both agree that I use the word "friend" loosely. I think it's because of my personality... not quite the skeptic, always willing to believe in others. I do know that when I think of what qualities I look for in a friend, I see myself coming up short in being that way to others. Reality check.
I do have a great memory of a friend that I will never forget. It was very late at night, and I called this person when another friend had hurt me deeply. This friend just showed up at my door... no excuses that she was too busy or couldn't make it, she just came immediately. She was there for me... she followed thru. I'll never forget that. One other time with another friend was when my sister died. This friend just came to support me on the day of the viewing. She took me to the drug store for Kleenex and munchies, and she said she'd stand in the shadows or by my side to hold me up... whatever I needed from her that day, she would be. And she was.
Sorry to turn around your questions, but this just has me thinking more of what type of a friend am I to others! (Kind of like what we were challenged on a few weeks back at church, huh?!?)
I've got pretty high standards when it comes to, what I look for in a "True Friend." I do use the word more than I should, mainly cause of a lack of anything else. But I guess what I look for in a best friend is what follows:
1) He accepts you for who you are, baggage and all. 2) Willing to drop everything for you if you are in need. (And doesn't complain about it later). 3) A willingness to give till it hurts them, though they would never admit it. 4) A relationship with Yeshua, (Jesus Christ). A deep one-on-one relationship. 5) and of coarse, someone you can give a backrub to and not feel like you're under suspicion. (Thanks Dave).
I evaluate different friends I have in my life and the relationship I have with them before I try to pursue anything deeper. I do admit to have some really close relationships that comes close to everything I listed but lacks one item on the list. I've had a very small number of guys in my life I would truly call my best friend and that is what I base my list on, anyway.
I thought I had a few more, but for some reason this is all that came to mind right now, maybe I'll add more later, I don't know.
My wife and I have been discussing this as well... both of us being introverts who don't make friends easily. Or maybe our standards are too high. We really are just looking for one good friend each and after much discussion are pretty much on track with your points. I know a guy at work with literally tons of friends (he weighed them) but how can you be close to that many people? Which means that all these "friendships" are actually somewhat shallow, which isn't really a true friend, at least in our nit-picky books. For years I clung to the fact that I had a "friend" from high school but a few years back came to the sobering realization that while I would do anything I could if he was in need he could not be bothered to take half an hour to visit me when he was in town (he lives over two hours away). And yet he had time to visit other non-relatives in town. Yeah, I think I've been suckered. So having "demoted" that friend to an e-friend or an old acquaintance (can't speel) I came down to the blue true that I had no friend. Aside from my wife, who is my bestest friend.
4 comments:
Yeah, I overuse it myself. I think a friend is someone you can give a backrub to and not feel like you're under suspicion.
Usually when someone is not a real close friend, I will give them a category, such a a friend from work, or a friend from church, etc.
Oh, you and your deep questions, hon! LOL Hmmm... you know me, I think we'd both agree that I use the word "friend" loosely. I think it's because of my personality... not quite the skeptic, always willing to believe in others. I do know that when I think of what qualities I look for in a friend, I see myself coming up short in being that way to others. Reality check.
I do have a great memory of a friend that I will never forget. It was very late at night, and I called this person when another friend had hurt me deeply. This friend just showed up at my door... no excuses that she was too busy or couldn't make it, she just came immediately. She was there for me... she followed thru. I'll never forget that. One other time with another friend was when my sister died. This friend just came to support me on the day of the viewing. She took me to the drug store for Kleenex and munchies, and she said she'd stand in the shadows or by my side to hold me up... whatever I needed from her that day, she would be. And she was.
Sorry to turn around your questions, but this just has me thinking more of what type of a friend am I to others! (Kind of like what we were challenged on a few weeks back at church, huh?!?)
I've got pretty high standards when it comes to, what I look for in a "True Friend." I do use the word more than I should, mainly cause of a lack of anything else. But I guess what I look for in a best friend is what follows:
1) He accepts you for who you are, baggage and all.
2) Willing to drop everything for you if you are in need. (And doesn't complain about it later).
3) A willingness to give till it hurts them, though they would never admit it.
4) A relationship with Yeshua, (Jesus Christ). A deep one-on-one relationship.
5) and of coarse, someone you can give a backrub to and not feel like you're under suspicion. (Thanks Dave).
I evaluate different friends I have in my life and the relationship I have with them before I try to pursue anything deeper. I do admit to have some really close relationships that comes close to everything I listed but lacks one item on the list. I've had a very small number of guys in my life I would truly call my best friend and that is what I base my list on, anyway.
I thought I had a few more, but for some reason this is all that came to mind right now, maybe I'll add more later, I don't know.
My wife and I have been discussing this as well... both of us being introverts who don't make friends easily. Or maybe our standards are too high. We really are just looking for one good friend each and after much discussion are pretty much on track with your points. I know a guy at work with literally tons of friends (he weighed them) but how can you be close to that many people? Which means that all these "friendships" are actually somewhat shallow, which isn't really a true friend, at least in our nit-picky books. For years I clung to the fact that I had a "friend" from high school but a few years back came to the sobering realization that while I would do anything I could if he was in need he could not be bothered to take half an hour to visit me when he was in town (he lives over two hours away). And yet he had time to visit other non-relatives in town. Yeah, I think I've been suckered. So having "demoted" that friend to an e-friend or an old acquaintance (can't speel) I came down to the blue true that I had no friend. Aside from my wife, who is my bestest friend.
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